It's all flying by!

Spain is so close I can almost touch it. T-minus 2 weeks. I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't have anything... We'll see how it goes I suppose. As for my life lately, it has been basically just work and more work and now Jenny's wedding, which I'm sure you'll hear about.

Feliz Navidad.

utter boredom? Not a good idea.

A
- Age: 20
- Annoyance: Hypocritical or judgemental people. And dumb boys.
- Animal: Giraffe! :)
- Actor: Edward Norton. Kevin Spacey. John Cusack. Steve Carrell.

B
- Beer: Coors Light
- Birthday/Birthplace: January 15, 1988: St.Paul MN
- Body Part on opposite sex: The back, and the V thing at the hips!!
- Been in Love: Yes, though hindsight was definitely 20/20.
- Been bitched at: Naturally.
- Believe in yourself: In most cases, with help.
- Believe in miracles: Yes, wish they were more prevalent.
- Believe in God: With all my heart, all my soul, all my strength, and all my mind.
- Believe in Ghosts/Spirits: I believe in angels and demons.
- Believe in Evolution: Yes.

C
- Car: Dead
- Candy: Snickers. Buttons. Goobers.
- Color: Teal
- Cried in school: I can't put a finger on it.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: I'm a girl, do I need to answer?
- Chinese/Mexican food: Depends on the day, usually chinese!
- Cake or pie: Pie...
- Country to visit: I want to see the world. Fiji.

D
- Day or Night: Usually night.
- Dream vehicle: 1969 Corvette Stingray.
- Dance in the rain?: Love to.
- Do the splits?: Kinda. I'm not so fortunate.

E
- Eggs: Omelette!
- Eyes: Amber Brown, but darker if I'm mad.
- Everyone has: A quirk I love.
- Ever failed a class? Never!

F
- First crush: Steven, bf, 1st grade. Ha.
- Full name: Kristina Lee Catherine Mandell
- Food: Pasta! Cookies!

G
- Greatest Fear: That I will settle. and I'm terrified of Rape.
- Goals: To never let my reality fall short of what I am dreaming.
- Get along with your parent(s)?: They're some of my best friends!
- Good luck charm: I'm not sure...

H
- Hair Color: Dark Brown.
- Height: 5'6
- Happy: Generally yes.
- Holiday: Christmas, no doubt!
- How do you want to die? I want to go peacefully, with utter acceptance.
- Health freak?: Pretty much, but everyone has their weaknesses.
- Hate: Is a very strong word.

I - (in your preferred sex)
Eye color: I don't know, I tend to go for brown?
Hair: Natural.
Height: Tallish.
Clothing Style: Indie fantabulous... Like Charlie!
Characteristics: sensitive, attentive, empathetic, funny...

I
- Ice Cream: Bnana fudge ripple, I miss Schwanns.
- Instrument: Percussion, although I heart guitar.

J
- Jewelry: Random, always my rings.
- Job: Multiple. Gertens, tutoring, and children.

K
- Kids: Are debatable
- Kickboxing or karate: kick boxing?
- Keep a journal?: Attempt

L
- Longest Car Ride: To Colorado! We broke down halfway up the mountain...
- Love: hurts, love stinks. (but it's my antidrug)
- Laughed so hard you cried: Love it!
- Love at first sight: Doubt it!---that's lust, friend.

M
- Milk flavor: Chocolate..
- Movie: Garden State! Pride and Prejudice!
- Mooned anyone?: My sister? Awkward.
- Marriage: Is special and taken for granted all too often. I love my parents.
- Motion sickness?: When I was younger... grew out of that, thank the lord.
- McDonald’s or BK: I do NOT eat McDonalds.

N
- Number of Siblings: 2
- Number of Piercings: 7

O
- One wish: a pony!

P
- Place you’d like to live: I enjoy Colorado. I love Vancouver.
- Perfect Pizza: Pinneaple! Fo sho yo!
- Pepsi/Coke: Diet Coke

Q
- Quail: Quail?
- Questionnaires: This one?

R
- Reason to cry: When simple words cannot express overwhelming emotion
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: of course!

S
- Song: Somewhere over the rainbow--Israel Kammoiwich'e
- Shoe size: 8
- Salad Dressing: I like a lot of them. Poppyseed... Rasberry Vinagreitte... Green Goddess... Honey Dijon... Champagne... Not ranch/french/ceasar/the typical
- Skipped school: All too much.
- Smoking: is the worst life decision, besides crime.
- Sing well?: depends on your definition of well!
- In the shower? yeah... doesn't everybody?
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries all the way, forever!

T
- Time for bed: You have to catch me first!
- Thunderstorms: Are a reminder of God's power. Wow.
-Touch your tongue to your nose: Yeah my tongue is wonderful! ;)

U
- Unpredictable: depends on my mood!

V
- Vegetable you hate: Water Chestnuts! Lima Beans! EEW
- Vegetable you love: A majority, esp. Green Beans.
- Vacation spot: Warm? I'm not picky. San Fransisco.

W
- Weakness: My anxiety. You go ahead and try to get me to calm down and stop fretting, it's a viscious cycle.
- When you grow up: I will have to do something with myself :(
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Libby. But we're soulmates.
- Who makes you laugh the most: My brother, my favorite sisters.
- Wanted to be a model?: My mother wouldn't allow it. Go figure.
- Where do we go when we die: That depends on how you've lived.
- Worst weather: Bitter cold, Or hurricanes.

X
-X-Rays: Are nifty and scary at the same time?

Y
-Year it is now: 2008
-Yellow: Submarine

Z
- Zoo animal: Penguins and dolphins.
- Zodiac sign: Capricorn

LAST PERSON WHO…
1. Slept in a bed beside you? My boy.
2. Last person to see you cry? Jen, today. Sad.
3. Went to the movies with you? My amazing family!
4. You went to the mall with? Katarina Dawn Arzani. :)
5. You went to dinner with? Out? My pastor I think.
6. You talked to on the phone? Karen, love of my life...

Congratulations?

Dear Kristina:

Congratulations! On behalf of the U.S. Department of State, Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs and the Institute of International Education (IIE), I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected as a recipient of the Benjamin A. Gilman International Scholarship in the amount of $3,500.00.


I simply cannot believe it! I am way too excited and thankful to God. I will not let him down, this trip is coming together far too fast and I can finally see my purpose.

Way too excited.

orientate me!

In just a few short hours I will be dancing the night away :) I hope you're as excited as I am.

You will soon feel the transition of this lame college blog into a travel journal; today I had my study abroad orientation and as horrible as it was it is now becoming a reality!! We learned amazing things I never knew!
-if you are hanging out at a bar, don't take a drug from a strange man
-make sure you don't leave your luggage somewhere while you go to the bathroom
-watch out for small children scamming you and stealing your money
-walk with confidence, like a flight attendant!
-make up a code with people back home for danger
-update your will, in case you don't come back...
Yeah, they weren't paranoid at all! I am excited for the fun parts of Spain, and I am going to ignore the possibilities of being taken hostage or surveilled, if they are even likely possibilities at all!

My paperwork is complete, my deposit is almost in, and I am ready to rock and roll!

too dark to see.

who ever saw it going this direction?

First off, that date turned into a second date which turned into spending lotsa time together, and I cannot believe I am going to say this but I have a boyfriend! You'd never believe it if I told you, but it's true, pinky promise.

I spent last weekend at home for the first time since labor day, it was bittersweet... I definitely enjoyed getting the heck out of kato, because all the stress of future, graduation, living situations, alpha chi, and all else was going to drive me up the wall if I didn't go up it myself! Ahhh but back home was expo weekend. We all know the craziness that entails. And the craziness it reveals for the future of the Mandell family, but I don't think I wanna talk about that.

It's now initiation week, very exciting :) Then just a few things left until both my little and my big leave the chapter as alum (I know, right?!) and then it's thanksgiving, and then the end of the semester, and then CHRISTMAS, and then Jenny's wedding, and then I leave for Spain! That last one is just under 60 days away. So I have to really get crackin' because I can't keep going the way I have been going for the last couple weeks and still expect to accomplish the stuff I need to for everything coming up! EEK! :)

Have a nice day, I am off to the last day of my exercise study!!

p.s.

Oh! I almost forgot... I had my final MRI which was uber-rexciting and turns out I am improving dramatically: brain tissue has recovered, it's only on a neuronal level as of now. They originally said that full recuperation could take up to a year, and that there may be minor differences in my memory and focus and even maybe personality for the rest of my life. However, I am keeping high hopes! So wish me luck, because I would really like to be able to think straight one of these days!

What am I going to do when I run out of Percocet? :(

hello?

So I must apologize for not writing in the last fifteen years! It's my fault, I enrolled in 17 credits and I took on membership in a million clubs. But it builds strong bones!!

So here's what you've missed. Do I really have to do this? I am going to resolve not to. I take it you can make up the last month of my life because I'm not in the mood to give an actual recap.

I have a little sister :) It's awesome, her name is Jessica and I think she'll do great things.

My parents came down last weekend and now all I wanna do is get this semester over and get my ass home.

I have my flight for Spain!

and I have a date.

that's the excitement of today. I'll think of something clever to say tomorrow. Ta-ta.

Out of control

I don't even know where to start. This is my life, right? I am living in my own personal body, right? Last time I checked I can make my own decisions and I can live. But apparently not.

The Man of my Future

Time for Change

So here I am sitting and watching the Democratic National Convention ("history in the making" as my dad calls it). Yes, I am back at home. Again. For five nights. For the hospital. UGH. I spent a good portion of my first week of classes on the phone with various hospitals, checking every location possible, and being transferred to just about all of their million bajillion departments... by the end of it I was just in tears, breaking down in the middle of campus without even getting an appointment I needed.

Enough about that though, I am so sick of that...

This convention has held my attention. Although I like taking a political stance, and certainly have my strong-felt opinions on many many topics, these extensive debates and rallies grate at my insides as if I swallowed a steggosaurus... No, they're probably not that painful, just a real bore. Definitely. This, however, is different. This convention is taking a stance for the people, using words that speak to us instead of philosophies that make them sound good in their crazy little heads. This election is different for me. It means something... change.


Oh, and in case you didn't know, I just finished my first week at school! I adore just about every one of my classes. I am a nerd like that though. Especially now that I am far into abnormal psychology, biopsychology, and all these classes I actually have an interest in.

What else do I adore? My roommate.

...

You'll be happy to know that I am successfully moved in to Mankato, and haven't vomited all day (that's a good thing... I think).

Today was pretty boring and tomorrow will be even moreso. I will be spending a good amount of my day finishing my paper telling you all everything about my experience this summer as a shadow of School Counselor Jodi Wendel. Yes, it was beneficial. Was it revealing? Not so much. I am still trying to figure out if that's a good or bad thing... I was happy to discover that it was all that I expected, but was hoping to find some hidden secret or a magic door. Hmm...

Existing Proof of a day from Hell

I really don't even want to deal with today. Really...
I have had a throbbing headache all weekend!! At Orinoco on Saturday, at Church on Sunday, robbing me of all enthusiasm. My pain medications no longer help me. And yes, I have tried overdosing on them.

Today I went to the chiropractor where he did a full spinal examination, realizing there is more damage than imagined. On the way out, I had a piece of glass go through my flip flop and into my foot. I got a call on the way home, the Doctor is seeing me as an overbook. I am looking forward to the end of the day when I can go to sleep and forget this is how it went the whole time.


I move in tomorrow, and am excited about it! I'm sure you'll hear more later...

Just a thought.

I am thinking right now that I am lucky to be where I am, loved. Just a thought.

Weekend Update!

I so badly want to go to the Irish fair and see cool stuff and Flogging Molly! It's a tragic night, and my friends are lame :(

Since I left you last I have been recuperating in a pretty neato manner. I am proud that I don't take my nausea meds anymore, but I am sick of this pounding headache!! I am supposed to be ready for three months of it though, so whoopdee doo let's get this party going. Ick. The kids made so many cute cards I have been very content, as usual, with life as I know it.

I singlehandedly watched two seasons of Gilmore Girls in the last two weeks, it's a very sad statement I know... But I really haven't been up for much else. My parents just started letting me out of their sight again, so I guess they aren't treating me like I am four anymore, maybe now I can cross the street without holding their hands (*GASP!*) It's been good though, and I have been basking in their gentle care. Really, I have.

I love my friends and am being struck with the reality that I am leaving them all to go move in in only 10 days! Crazy, I know.

I think I have lost any other train of thought.
In other words,
G'day.

How it is.

These days are getting harder. It's a different kind of difficult, and I don't even know what to tell you.

By now the recovery is on its way but definitely taking a turn for an emotional struggle rather than physical. This morning I got prayer after church and you wouldn't believe the way I felt. Everything she said was point on, even though there is no way she knew what was going through my head. She asked for healing in my head and jaw, knowing that God was good enough to take the pain away in my jaw once before, this very summer. She started talking about my emotions as I relive the trauma in every moment of downtime and relive the pain of losing people to this before. She mentioned Logan, and I didn't know anyone knew I was hurting about him this week. She just knew. She asked him to take away my fear. Yes, my own mortality did slap me across the face this week, but God I do not need this fear.

This afternoon I went on my first walk since the accident. My mom, Rusty, and I in the park with the sun going down. Some bicyclists were rounding the corner behind us and gave us the whole "On the left" thing... which usually is a very normal kind of road courtesy. But tonight was different. It startled me and I jumped over to the side of the sidewalk grasping my mom's arm. I couldn't even describe to you what got into me. Crying was not exactly planned... nor was it rational. My mom said I just have a lot of fear.

I do not need this fear. That is what she was praying for and that is what has made me cry on countless occasions in the past few days. It's so not cool.


My mom and dad are upset with me. They say I am rushing things and I am not being patient with my recovery, I just want to do something besides lay around wallowing in my pity. I need to do something besides that.

I go back to work tomorrow. Wish me luck.

What you've missed

So I know everyone wants to know all the details, but I'm still not sure why.

Here goes.

On Monday morning I was biking to work and was going to cross an intersection... well I thought it was safe to assume that cars stop at red but I guess I was wrong because the police report says I was hit by a car going 40, which makes this situation just a little serious. I remember thinking I was going to die and rolling up onto the windshield but when I hit the pavement things went black until I woke up to paramedics, an ambulance, 2 police cars, 2 fire trucks, and a few civilians. Yeah, that's when I think the panic set in. They wouldn't let me stand up and walk over to the ambulance (I know, right?) So I was loaded on a stretcher and rushed to Regions hospital where they cut all my clothes off and put an oxygen mask over my mouth. I couldn't really tell you, I was still in and out of consciousness and in and out of panic attacks. However, I did get my CT scans and X-Rays...

This is how it goes. I have the cuts and bruises you'd expect from being thrown 15 feet from a car. On top of that is a fractured skull and internal bleeding near my brain. It's pretty cash ha. I have been on pretty heavy duty watch every night, waking me up every hour to check all my vitals and check my nerve functions. On top of that, every 5 hours I have been stabbed to check my sodium rates (if the sodium level is low I am in danger for seizures so the whole head trauma thing has more effects than I knew). I had a second and third and fourth CT scan and the neuro surgeons said the bleeding in my head is stabilizing soooo I don't even have to have brain surgery so that's the good news.

The bad news is that it'll take up to 3 months for the fracture and bleeding to heal itself so for the next few months I can have recurring migraines, pressure, dizziness and nausea at random times without warning or explanation.I have four staples holding the back of my head together near the fracture and the internal bleeding there especially caused that part of my brain to swell. It is the center of the brain dedicated to my equilibrium which explains why I am so dizzy and hence nautious, not keeping meals down until today at last.

The most ironic part? I was coming down with something Sunday until my dad found bad plumbing and resulting mold problems in our basement. I apparently was the most sensitive to that. Monday morning he was telling me about it and suggesting I slept somewhere else for a couple nights...Funny that his wish was granted, eh?I was told if I went 12 hours without puking I could be discharged. This is that time. So wish me luck.

I think I covered it all but feel free to make comments or ask questions.I have definitely felt the love. I love and appreciate each and every one of you :)

The end.

Am I crazy?

Ok, so remember how I said I wasn't even feeling a slump? I didn't count today into that mess... Maybe it's that I am getting into one of those funks I have, and maybe I'm just being paranoid, but maybe its a reality that they are treating me differently. And they are my best friends, so I am just a little lost on that fact. I want my love to come home already, is she the only one who hasn't lost her patience with me? I need her back, no foreign city can steal her this time.

So I lived in a different home for the last week. Hence why I am pretty much crazy deprived of sleep. Three weeks left of work. HOORAH. I guess that's just about it to say.

I just feel ugh.

Thank Goodness

T.G.I.F.

It pretty much loses its meaning when you lose your weekend... Ready to take a day off of work.

Random musings on a Monday night

There are officially 5 weeks left until I move back to Mankato and forget about this place. That might be exactly what I need.

Lately I have been in a slump, but I am surprised that I am not more so... I feel as if I am thinking I should be a lot more depressed and stressed than is actually a reality, and that is pretty cool shit. I think I am generally content with my life right now. With multiple jobs you don't exactly have a lot of time to be bored, but in the few moments I spend with the couple friends I still hold close I am enjoying myself thoroughly this summer.

And that's that. Life is conventional right now. I go to work, go for a walk, perhaps see someone, eat dinner, and chill out until I fall asleep. This must be what it feels like to grow up. Now I wonder what adults actually have to say in their blogs...

I'll tell you one thing, I am generally excited to start school again. And my perspective has so changed on that subject! Before I would've told you I was just pumped to go back and see my friends. But now... I am excited to learn, and to have a break, and to be on my own again just cruisin... Not to say I don't love my home, just to say I feel guilty living with my parents, is that a sad thing? I feel like I should be spreading my wings, but I am glad I can actually live and save. I need to live and save.

Spain will be splendid.
Thank you very much.

Things I Want to Do Before I Die

• Skydive
• Learn Sign Language
• Write a Book
• Pierce my Belly Button
• Go on a Blind Date
• Swim with Dolphins
• Patent Something or Anything...
• Visit Ireland
• Have Sex on an Elevator
• Learn how to Play Cello
• Appear on Television
• Have Dinner with Royalty
• See a Broadway Show
• See the Wall of China
• See the Pyramids
• Scuba Dive
• Party with a Celebrity
• Get a (second) tattoo
• Paint something magnificent
• Make a difference
• Give my mom a dozen roses
• Send a message in a bottle
• Make a layer cake
• Experience Weightlessness
• Drive the Autobahn
• Make love underwater
• Figure out how to create my family tree
• Donate enough to put my name on something
• Go up in a real hot air balloon!

Happy B-Day America!

Today always makes me feel kinda guilty... I celebrate, but am not proud of, the country. America definitely is beautiful and I hold so much value to the little freedom I have, but have never been by any means patriotic enough to buy the flag on a t-shirt or give the thumbs up to Mr. George W. can you blame me?

It was the worst right after the tragedy of our Twin Towers... It was a very sad event but the patriotism it inspired for the following five years made me a little sick. I don't think that all of this should have come out of that piece of terrorism, and our responses have left us barely able to afford gas, laying off every employee, and leaving little hope for our college graduates. It makes me afraid, not proud. So when our country's day rolls around I have fun with the BBQs and Fireworks but am left with these dwelling worries.

God Bless the U.S.A.




On a lighter note, with the weekend off I am heading to Mankato for the 4th to celebrate with some loves :) Expect some stories.

"He had to punish us somehow, right?"

It's July. Isn't that fabulous?

Ok, so do you care to know who I am? I am pretty much run of the mill I s'pose. You can determine that. I have gone through my share of things to learn but I really like who I have become because of all of it. Now, I am spending a summer hanging out with good friends, swamped with working two jobs and taking 5 credits. I have always overworked myself.

Today one of the children at work named Connor was talking to me about how cool it would be to run 200 mph and not get tired. I said it would be difficult to run like that infinitely without being tired or getting hurt... This is when he explained to me that the reason for all of this was because Adam and Eve sinned. Ha.

Connor is 5. So are the other 25 kids I watch. I wanna record each and every thing they say. Seriously.

Some days are way too tiring, discouraging, maddening. I must remember how much my job rocks.

So... Yes...

If everybody else in the twenty-first century can do it, so can I... I’m blogging.

And not in that teen angst, “No one understands me”, “Whoa is me” kind of way. It’s simple, I need to organize my thoughts so bad I can’t even find my keys. Oh wait, that is so usual. My mom actually started me on the idea, she wants one. A blog of her own, that is. I can imagine it now...

Day One: “Blah Blah Blah”
Day Two: “Blah kids work Blah-di-Blah”

Not like mine will be any different. Seriously. Just the musings of you know who. So... Hello there.