The Man of my Future

Time for Change

So here I am sitting and watching the Democratic National Convention ("history in the making" as my dad calls it). Yes, I am back at home. Again. For five nights. For the hospital. UGH. I spent a good portion of my first week of classes on the phone with various hospitals, checking every location possible, and being transferred to just about all of their million bajillion departments... by the end of it I was just in tears, breaking down in the middle of campus without even getting an appointment I needed.

Enough about that though, I am so sick of that...

This convention has held my attention. Although I like taking a political stance, and certainly have my strong-felt opinions on many many topics, these extensive debates and rallies grate at my insides as if I swallowed a steggosaurus... No, they're probably not that painful, just a real bore. Definitely. This, however, is different. This convention is taking a stance for the people, using words that speak to us instead of philosophies that make them sound good in their crazy little heads. This election is different for me. It means something... change.


Oh, and in case you didn't know, I just finished my first week at school! I adore just about every one of my classes. I am a nerd like that though. Especially now that I am far into abnormal psychology, biopsychology, and all these classes I actually have an interest in.

What else do I adore? My roommate.

...

You'll be happy to know that I am successfully moved in to Mankato, and haven't vomited all day (that's a good thing... I think).

Today was pretty boring and tomorrow will be even moreso. I will be spending a good amount of my day finishing my paper telling you all everything about my experience this summer as a shadow of School Counselor Jodi Wendel. Yes, it was beneficial. Was it revealing? Not so much. I am still trying to figure out if that's a good or bad thing... I was happy to discover that it was all that I expected, but was hoping to find some hidden secret or a magic door. Hmm...

Existing Proof of a day from Hell

I really don't even want to deal with today. Really...
I have had a throbbing headache all weekend!! At Orinoco on Saturday, at Church on Sunday, robbing me of all enthusiasm. My pain medications no longer help me. And yes, I have tried overdosing on them.

Today I went to the chiropractor where he did a full spinal examination, realizing there is more damage than imagined. On the way out, I had a piece of glass go through my flip flop and into my foot. I got a call on the way home, the Doctor is seeing me as an overbook. I am looking forward to the end of the day when I can go to sleep and forget this is how it went the whole time.


I move in tomorrow, and am excited about it! I'm sure you'll hear more later...

Just a thought.

I am thinking right now that I am lucky to be where I am, loved. Just a thought.

Weekend Update!

I so badly want to go to the Irish fair and see cool stuff and Flogging Molly! It's a tragic night, and my friends are lame :(

Since I left you last I have been recuperating in a pretty neato manner. I am proud that I don't take my nausea meds anymore, but I am sick of this pounding headache!! I am supposed to be ready for three months of it though, so whoopdee doo let's get this party going. Ick. The kids made so many cute cards I have been very content, as usual, with life as I know it.

I singlehandedly watched two seasons of Gilmore Girls in the last two weeks, it's a very sad statement I know... But I really haven't been up for much else. My parents just started letting me out of their sight again, so I guess they aren't treating me like I am four anymore, maybe now I can cross the street without holding their hands (*GASP!*) It's been good though, and I have been basking in their gentle care. Really, I have.

I love my friends and am being struck with the reality that I am leaving them all to go move in in only 10 days! Crazy, I know.

I think I have lost any other train of thought.
In other words,
G'day.

How it is.

These days are getting harder. It's a different kind of difficult, and I don't even know what to tell you.

By now the recovery is on its way but definitely taking a turn for an emotional struggle rather than physical. This morning I got prayer after church and you wouldn't believe the way I felt. Everything she said was point on, even though there is no way she knew what was going through my head. She asked for healing in my head and jaw, knowing that God was good enough to take the pain away in my jaw once before, this very summer. She started talking about my emotions as I relive the trauma in every moment of downtime and relive the pain of losing people to this before. She mentioned Logan, and I didn't know anyone knew I was hurting about him this week. She just knew. She asked him to take away my fear. Yes, my own mortality did slap me across the face this week, but God I do not need this fear.

This afternoon I went on my first walk since the accident. My mom, Rusty, and I in the park with the sun going down. Some bicyclists were rounding the corner behind us and gave us the whole "On the left" thing... which usually is a very normal kind of road courtesy. But tonight was different. It startled me and I jumped over to the side of the sidewalk grasping my mom's arm. I couldn't even describe to you what got into me. Crying was not exactly planned... nor was it rational. My mom said I just have a lot of fear.

I do not need this fear. That is what she was praying for and that is what has made me cry on countless occasions in the past few days. It's so not cool.


My mom and dad are upset with me. They say I am rushing things and I am not being patient with my recovery, I just want to do something besides lay around wallowing in my pity. I need to do something besides that.

I go back to work tomorrow. Wish me luck.