It's a beautiful Saturday so I don't want to spend too much of my morning on the computer... but you deserve an update.
Colorado was spectacular, and I've got upwards of 300 pictures to prove it. We explored in the mountains, chilled out at mesa verde, walked around durango, and had a blast rafting. That's just the start of it. For my first authentic road trip, it was an awfully impressive success. I have seen it all! (In South Dakota at least!) And now it is all rushing in on me.
Lately I feel like all of my expendable energy has been spent worrying about my future. I graduate college in less than a year and the big question becomes: what next???? I don't think I even have an idea there. Part of me is dying to take a year off before I head to Grad School. Learn what the real world really is. Find myself. But there's a small part that is terrified. GREs and Recommendation letters and Personal Statements do not seem like something I am ready to conquer in the few months ahead of me. And thus, the world is collapsing. I assure you, I know that this is not the case! Then, why does it seem so hard? Decisions, decisions, decisions.
And I'm still getting nowhere.
I am back to work at the Grove. And I love it. On the side I am still teaching ESL and trying to put together that Lit review and reflection and all, on top of my Gilman Scholarship follow-up. In the last six months I have lost my spirit for hard work. How? Oh yeah, class three hours a day and no homework really does the trick. Free drinks with the professors Monday nights help. So does the whole theory of a test-a-month. And the beach in my spare time. And now, compositions seem the death of me. I WILL break this by the timw class starts this fall. I am not a slacker.
Opa is moving to a nursing home near you. How do you feel about that? I am too upset to put it to words. How can a wife abandon her husband when she's the only caretaker he has? How can my mother be forced to take on all of these responsibilities for an Alzheimered patient 6 months after her bankruptcy? How can noone else see this? These are questions I don't think will ever be answered.
But all in all, my life seems pretty much turned upside-down.
Help.
