50 things I've learned about Spain:

1.) Spaniards not only think all Americans are easy, they also think we're dumb as rocks.
2.) Noone works--- no matter the time of day, they're out for a walk. They don't care to work and apparently don't need to, who knows why. (With the exception of quality metro enterntainment!)
3.) You are always in the way. In no way is it possible that they're in yours. Move, damnit.
4.) The dogs here have been bred from something much different than those living in America. They have tendencies to:
- wait patiently for their masters
- walk calmly without a leash
- do their business when and where they feel like it
- eat vegetarian!............. and I have yet to hear one bark.
5.) Strollers come equipped with plastic shields so small children can be silenced with ease.
6.) Speaking of children, parents let them roam hundreds of feet ahead of them, not seeming to care that they're in a city of 3million (and with enough independence to ride the metro solo at age 8, which you'd never believe)
7.) The only thing they teach you in driving school here is how to parallel park with 2cm to spare. The rest is void.
8.) Chirping means safety, but there's no guarantee. Cross at your own risk.
9.) On a rainy day plan to wear not only your coat but safety goggles as well. Umbrellas break for noone, it's your prerogative to survive!
10.) Lottery stands are everywhere and anywhere, and some people sell the tickets off their own chest! The odds of winning? Probably less than in MN.
11.) 50% of people go out for a stroll every sunday. Women wear fur coats as a norm and typically require a man walking beside them. They have no plans, just to be seen.
12.) PDA is fashionable. Find it in the metro, on the street corners, in the park, you name it...
13.) Don't count on a long bed, nor on a plump pillow.
14.) If you like your personal space, I strongly advise you to stay away from Madrid, and especially to avoid the metro.
15.) Porros en la calle? Por que no.
16.) All the signs may be in english but that doesn't mean they want you to know they speak it!
17.) If you liked dinner last night imagine it on a bun for your mediodia bocadillo.
18.) Flip flops: they are not allowed here.
19.) Smoking---it's cool, hip, and must not be bad for your health yet here because they haven't slowed down. You get enough second hand smoke that you won't have to spend a euro cent to get your own pack.
20.) Sunflower seeds are the best snack available, with the most common disposal being the metro floor.
21.) When you live nest to the fire station you're bound to see them but if not it's as if flames are a mythical creature here!
22.) Buying a scarf here is like buying a diet coke back home.
23.) Wine is sometimes cheaper than water. Drinking is very easy and you can buy your liquor either at the supermarket of by the bottle at your local bar.
24.) Pastries, churros, and the like are easy to come by. But people here don't do munchies.
25.) It is common to speak two or more languages. Europe is one big family and you can visit the cuz for real cheap...
26.) Estancos---buy your tobacco and your professional metro abono at the same place, now that's convenience.
27.) Museo de Jamon, need I say more?
28.) p.s. why doesn't anyone have a cat?
29.) Ham not only comes on a leg sitting on your counter and packaged neatly, but also in a convenient spread. (Pate, que asco.)
30.) If you see a black man wandering through the park, you can bet he's a dealer.
31.) Pizza is not the same here. They top it with tuna pretty often and sometimes even make it in a microwave!
32.) If you're looking for Americans what you actually need to look for is an Irish pub, especially Dubliners!
33.) Peluquerias: apparently Spaniards can't get enough of haircuts because these are plentiful!
34.) What else could be this numerous and convenient but Doner Kebab?! YUM
35.) Who needs one nice cell phone when you can have one of every style and sound!
36.) Try not to pass out in the metro, you just may lose something.
37.) Russians are a completely different species.
38.) The word drought here seems to mean that it rains only 3 days a week instead of 5 or 6. Don't believe a word they say.
39.) Pharmacies are neon and on every street.
40.) Who would ever dream of walking around the house barefoot? Bring slippers unless you'd rather be perceived a complete loony.
41.) One appliance that has yet to be introduced to Europe is driers. On the line or over the rack it your best bet. One thing I miss is the real shape of my clothes!
42.) Your teachers would love to have a heart to heart over a cigarette (of course) or at the bar... My school brings us out for a free drink at least once a week. Like I said, different world.
43.) People may stay out until 4 or 5 but the metro closes at 1:30. Period.
44.) Nothing good happens after metro close.
45.) Sangria comes by the pitcher and very soon you'll be feeling like a real espanola attempting salsa in the middle of the empty dance floor.
46.) There is no spanish billboard chart... Every now and then a song from Spain will come on the radi but for the most part it is just American. You will find the same trend in television.
47.) News is important here. People read the newspaper in the metro, on the street corners, in the park, just as often as they suck face.
48.) If you lose Jackie, you can bet you can find her in McDonalds. If you lose Dave, just give up.
49.) Skip church, that is the only day to visit anything free... and Rastro. Look into it.
50.) When the French girls leave, you bet your ass you'll miss hearing "I fucking hate you David."